Divorce can be devastating. Even though divorce is usually the result of several issues that have been building over time, that doesn’t change the pain that many people have to cope with after their divorce is finalized. If you are struggling to get a fresh start after a divorce, here are some tips to help you get started.
Tip #1: It’s Okay to Be Upset
Sometimes, divorce can build to an emotional tug-of-war over assets and custody. Other times, it may be a mutual decision resolved quickly and quietly. Regardless of whether you experienced a contentious or mutual divorce, or something in between, one of the most important things to remember is that your feelings are valid.
Divorce is extremely emotional, and the divorce process does not provide adequate time to deal with all of the resulting emotional turmoil. Most people need time to feel sadness, confusion, and frustration in order to adequately process the situation. Take the time you need to cope with this monumental change in your life and recognize that it is okay to still have these feelings even after your divorce is over.
Tip #2: You Don’t Have to Be Alone
Friends and family can provide much-needed emotional support after a divorce. They have known you for a long time and can offer a unique perspective on the situation that you may not have the emotional clarity to see on your own just yet.
Many people have gone through a divorce and come out on the other side, and they may be able to offer advice and guidance that you can apply to your situation. Every divorce is different, but advice from someone who has gone through the same thing can go a long way in helping you get a fresh start.
Tip #3: Communication Is Key
There are probably many reasons why you and your ex are divorced. One thing to keep in mind, especially for spouses with children, is that maintaining communication between you and your ex-spouse is a critical part of providing a stable environment. Children need to know that things will be okay, but providing stability while divorced is easier said than done. The best thing you can do to support your children is be willing to work with your ex to provide a supportive environment for them.
As your life continues to change after divorce, you may need to adjust your custody and visitation agreement. This is normal, and a qualified attorney can help you understand your options. They can work with you to create a visitation agreement that works for you and your child.
Unfortunately, this is not possible for many people, especially for victims of domestic abuse or neglect. In these situations, communication may be impossible or pose a threat to your safety. If this is the case, focus instead on strengthening your relationship with your children. Focus on their needs and providing a nurturing environment that can help you both move forward.
Tip #4: Get to Know Your Single Self
Whether you were married for two years or ten, you have spent a lot of time with your ex during the duration of your relationship. Most people become accustomed to their partner’s habits and interests, and sometimes this can overshadow their own interests.
Often this leads to a feeling of uncertainty about yourself. If you are trying to get a fresh start after a divorce, it is essential to become reacquainted with who you are as a single person.
Here’s a list of helpful tips for getting to know yourself:
- Revisit old hobbies or pick up new ones
- Take a class on something you’re curious about, like painting or yoga
- Be open to spending time with friends and coworkers
These are just suggestions, but pursuing your interests, whether they are fleeting or something you’ve only dreamed of, can help you keep your focus forward on your future and rediscovering yourself.
Moving on is never a linear process. You will experience highs and lows as you begin to heal from your divorce. It is okay to still be upset or sad about and to feel the need for clarity or closure.
Attorneys can help you throughout the divorce process to reach a resolution and build the foundation for a new start. They can provide personalized guidance for child custody and visitation in addition to helping you protect your assets during divorce to ensure a solid financial future.
Speak with a legal advocate at The Law Offices of Mark S. Knutson, S.C. today.